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Desk Jockeys Unite at Bear Mountain for Annual Office Booyz Contest

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Desk Jockeys Unite at Bear Mountain for Annual Office Booyz Contest
Written by: Screwy Lewi & Pony Boy 

Once just a dream shared over well deserved jugs of beer and chicken wings, a small group of out of shape Vancouver based desk jockeys started Office Booyz, a contest that has grown into a full-blown phenomenon.  This crazy juggernaut of an event traveled 1,200 miles south to Bear Mountain, Calif., on Feb. 22, 2008 for its inaugural debut in the United States of America.  Twelve hundred miles, that’s a long, long way to push in an office chair!  Now that’s dedication at an unprecedented level.

It was this dedication to the industry and sport that brought Office Booyz and Office Gurlz all from across Southern California to participate in this event.  In fact, it was so profound that one transplant from Montreal, Canada, by the name of Chris Gougeon, was spotted eating donuts, drinking beer, and later throwing down some nasty look-back and point-at-you airs in the contest.

Tricks usually reserved for special occasions were brought out by everyone, and unbeknownst to the participants, these tricks actually had secret prize categories to match.  Participants won prizes for ordinary, standard tricks as well, and people pulled out there best for the Quasi Big Air, Jammer-On-The-Donut Jam, FunBox Fiasco, and Desk Destroyer divisions.

The funniest part of Office Booyz was nobody anticipated what prizes would be given out, and for what reason.  Awards were given out for categories you never thought you’d get a prize for, as dubbed by contest organizers, and some of the slightly offensive categories included the following: Blue Balls and Brass Balls award winners, Most Gray Hair winner, Heaviest Office Boy, and Scorpion King (the person who ate the most crap).  It appears that absolutely nothing was off limits or considered sacred when it came time for passing judgment.

When asked what inspired these clever awards and the funner-than-anything-else-in-the-world contest, Office Booyz organizer Chad Mihalick from Malakye.com simply stated: “K-MAN, he’s a freaking scientific genius, and that’s all there is to it.  Who wouldn’t want a prize for eating the most donuts, or having the worst scorpion of the day?  Who wouldn’t want a cruise to Mexico for having the most team spirit and camaraderie?  Everyone here knows how to have a good time; it’s no amateur hour up in this piece.”  A departure into slang is out of character for Mihalick! It must have been the Jaeger, which was given to over half the winners.

The overall psyched vibe of Office Booyz was evident.  A bunch of desk jockeys received permission to take a day off work, were out to have fun, and wouldn’t let anything stand in their way, including the typical gray, rainy, snowy weather that followed Office Booyz from Vancouver!  When asked about the weather, contest creator Karl Fuhre simply stated: “What, just because I’m Canadian I’m supposed to know why the weather is bad here today?  Doesn’t Bear have bad weather at least four days a year?  Leave me alone.  I have other things to take care of.”  Karl then took off like a bat out of hell, almost forgetting to grab his morning donut and bear scheduled for 10 a.m., obviously the important part of the Office Booyz contest.

Plenty of photo documentation was garnered and is provided for you here.  When asked if there will be another Office Booyz contest next year, there was a unanimous response from all the contest organizers, “You bet your sweet ass!”  Later in the day, rumors of an Office Booyz event for surf and skate desk jockeys surfaced as well.

Rumors are rumors though, and for now the only certainty in life is that Office Booyz will travel back to its home town in Vancouver, Canada, and make its next début April 11, 2008 at Grouse Mountain.


Contest Divisions & Winners:

Scorpion King: Person Who Ate the Most Crap
Winner: Michael Walker from
Val Surf
What do you get for taking the worst digger of the day?  Typically nothing, but in Office Booyz you get an LCD TV.   Thanks for slammin' Mike!

Ate the Most Donuts
Winner: Chris Elgnbalawl from ELM
Chris, from Elm, took down 4 donuts in less than 15 minutes, and then came back for more!  Donuts and coffee, that's what Office Booyz does - uhhh!

Quasi Big Air Champion

Ben Querubin from Val Surf
Ben was the only one that busted a blindside 540 over the Donut!  Look out for Brawny Ben next year.

Best Straight Air
Dan Weigel from ELM
Who the hell busts early tail grabs snowboarding?  Apparently Dan from Elm does.  It got him an amazing trophy, and $100 in straight cash.  The new kids on the block are taking it old school!

Jammer On the Donut Jam

Winner: Ty Smith from Propaganda HQ
Ty pulled out a gap to foot plant over the donut.  Don’t eat the crumbs!

Blue Balls Award
Winner: Josh Lewis from
Having brass balls in skateboarding doesn't always translate into brass balls in other sports.  Josh wanted to hit the obstacles, but just couldn't.  Look out for a vengeful comeback in Office Booyz Skate!

Brass Balls Award
Winner: Frank Livingston from Val Surf
Hands down, Frank charged harder than anyone else in the contest.  No fear equals the Office Booyz' Brass Balls Award.


Fun Box Fiasco Champ

Winner: YuLin Wu from
YuLin seriously charges!  She whipped out some buttery smooth 540s across the fun box, among other trickery.

Vintage Air

Winner: Ben Rice from ELM
Ben laid down a crail grab and walked away with a trophy!

Desk Destroyer

Winner: Leroy from The Block
Leroy destroyed the desk in so many different ways.  Spinners, sliders, whirly winds, tic-tacs and doodads, Leroy's got it all!

Best Recovery
Winner: Chris VanValey from Burton Retail
Chris whacked his chin on the Desk Destroyer, got up and paused for a second, then busted out his flask to numb the pain!  Chris…you truly are an office warrior.

Super Hustle (Put Out the Most Effort All Day)

Winners - Val Surf: Matt Hinkle, Ben Querubin, Frank Livingston, Michael Walker
They were the first to register, the first ones on the course, and simply put, rode the hardest the entire contest!

Carve Master
Winner: Eric Stricker from
Stricker, a life long skater who's never surfed a day in his life, took home the smoothest carve award with double-carve, spraying team Burton with vengeance on his way down the hill!

Best Team Overall

Winners - the Burton Retail crew: Teddy Monney, Chris VanValey, Travis Scheneck
These guys were inseparable up and down the hill all day long.  putting on a true show with snow barrels and fun box triples!  And they walked away with a cruise to Mexico.  If what they do on that cruise is similar to what they did on the hill; the slide show will be amazing!

Shredder of the Day
Winner: Liam Gallagher from
Liam, aka "The Mystery Man" as we called him, rode smooth and consistent all day long.  Keep it up Liam!  Get ready to defend the crown next year.

Veteran Office Booyz Award
Winner: Travis Scheneck from Burton Retail
Many aspects of Travis' persona led us to dubbing him Veteran Office Boy, and we bestowed a gold cane upon him!

Most Vintage Set Up

Winner: David Gallo from SnowboardsForSale.com

David truly had the most vintage snowboard gloves on the hill that day.  He's keeps it real!

Most Sauced
Winner: Karl Fuhre from IS Design
K-Man proved Canadians know how to party; we'll just keep it at that.  Pro Tip: Keep it Safe!

Crew With the Tight Pants Award
Winner - the ELM crew: Chris Elgnbalawl, Dan Weigel, Ben Rice
This award was originally going to a single person rocking the tightest skibbies, but the Elm crew proved it can be a group effort and took home the gold.  She rockin' the tighties, and doin' the do!

Most Grey Hair
Winner: Teddy Monney from Burton Retail
Teddy Monney is the best looking guy you'll see with gray hair.  Anchor men throughout the nation should fear for their jobs!

Best Step Up
Winner: the infamous Mr. Chad Mihalick from Malakye.com
This one went to Chad Mihalick because even though there was no actual step-up jump in the contest, he stepped it up in getting the contest organized - enough said!

Heaviest Office Boy
Winner: Justin Cobb from New Era
This award was going to Travis Lamm, but he left early to eat lunch and drink beer.  Heaviest OB awards don't come easy.  Justin Cobb was our runner up!
Contest Division: File Cabinet Crasher
Winner: ???
We seem to have lost this person's name.  If you know who has this award, please let us know so we can include it ???

Office Booyz Contest Photos

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